Comments on: Chained love http://sultanasunderthecarseat.com/2008/05/06/chained-love/ Straight from the crossroads of the feminist revolution and flexible work hours Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:45:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=MU hourly 1 By: Thom http://sultanasunderthecarseat.com/2008/05/06/chained-love/#comment-54 Thom Tue, 06 May 2008 11:10:42 +0000 http://goodgirldaddy.wordpress.com/?p=59#comment-54 Thanks lesliesarah and doodaddy. lesliesarah: that's exactly what I was thinking while I wrote the post. So often people treat children in ways that they wouldn't dare approach another adult. Sure, children require some different behaviour by virtue of their relative lack of experience (you're not going to let them get cold, or go hungry, or suffer). But treat them like human beings for crying out loud! doodaddy: that's a whole 'nuther aspect that I'd love to write about, and I know you have when you talk about your in-laws and rels. It cracks me up when people raise the volume of their speaking voice and 'dumb it down' when speaking to Tiggy. It just isn't necessary, and sometimes I feel like responding with the same tone of voice to them... 'YES! SHE SPEAKY VERY GOOD AND UNDERSTANDY EVVYTHING YOU SAY!' Thanks lesliesarah and doodaddy.

lesliesarah: that’s exactly what I was thinking while I wrote the post. So often people treat children in ways that they wouldn’t dare approach another adult. Sure, children require some different behaviour by virtue of their relative lack of experience (you’re not going to let them get cold, or go hungry, or suffer). But treat them like human beings for crying out loud!

doodaddy: that’s a whole ‘nuther aspect that I’d love to write about, and I know you have when you talk about your in-laws and rels. It cracks me up when people raise the volume of their speaking voice and ‘dumb it down’ when speaking to Tiggy. It just isn’t necessary, and sometimes I feel like responding with the same tone of voice to them…

‘YES! SHE SPEAKY VERY GOOD AND UNDERSTANDY EVVYTHING YOU SAY!’

]]> By: doodaddy http://sultanasunderthecarseat.com/2008/05/06/chained-love/#comment-53 doodaddy Tue, 06 May 2008 07:45:57 +0000 http://goodgirldaddy.wordpress.com/?p=59#comment-53 Hear, hear. Many people -- especially relatives, and *especially* childless relatives -- really don't know how to "be" around kids. I sometimes want to shout "Just be NORMAL!" but obviously that message wouldn't be taken in all that well... Hear, hear. Many people — especially relatives, and *especially* childless relatives — really don’t know how to “be” around kids. I sometimes want to shout “Just be NORMAL!” but obviously that message wouldn’t be taken in all that well…

]]> By: lesliesarah http://sultanasunderthecarseat.com/2008/05/06/chained-love/#comment-52 lesliesarah Tue, 06 May 2008 06:56:51 +0000 http://goodgirldaddy.wordpress.com/?p=59#comment-52 I agree completely with you. Unfortunately it has become common to believe your children are lesser, that they deserve less respect (for feelings, through words, actions whatever). If I wouldn't treat another adult some way, why would my child deserve less? Would I spank my friend, Bob, because he wouldn't let me impose my will on him?" and then say "Bob, don't you understand I am teaching you not to hit?" or would make all decisions for my coworker Nancy and justifying it by reassuring her that "I am doing this to teach to you to be a responsible adult." Uh, you get my point. So, I agree. Obviously we love our children, want to comfort and protect them, and will inevitably do things wrong from time to time, but we do need to make sure we respect our children. They are people too, frankly, with just as much right to have their needs, desires, dreams, feelings expressed. And we are meant to guide them so that they no longer need us and have formed into people who can affect this world. I agree completely with you. Unfortunately it has become common to believe your children are lesser, that they deserve less respect (for feelings, through words, actions whatever). If I wouldn’t treat another adult some way, why would my child deserve less? Would I spank my friend, Bob, because he wouldn’t let me impose my will on him?” and then say “Bob, don’t you understand I am teaching you not to hit?” or would make all decisions for my coworker Nancy and justifying it by reassuring her that “I am doing this to teach to you to be a responsible adult.” Uh, you get my point.

So, I agree. Obviously we love our children, want to comfort and protect them, and will inevitably do things wrong from time to time, but we do need to make sure we respect our children. They are people too, frankly, with just as much right to have their needs, desires, dreams, feelings expressed. And we are meant to guide them so that they no longer need us and have formed into people who can affect this world.

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